2 years...
I started this post a few weeks ago and just finally finished it. In reflecting on our journey 2 years ago I giggled at how much our adoption story is like a birth story.
After 9 long months of preparation labor finally began. It took 9 months of intense training, interviews, and assessment. We were stripped raw and examined from every angle. Are we fit to be parents? This was asked of us in about a billion different ways. Once it was confirmed we "passed the test" we were then reexamined to determine what type of child we could "handle." We didn't have the physical pains of pregnancy but we had so much emotional pains. Around 20 weeks when you feel the first flutters and kicks of a baby we were feeling pokes and prodding from the state.
At the end of October we began seeking and praying for the child/ren that God would have for us. We submitted our home study to several case workers in hopes we would be chosen for committee (one of the three families that get chosen for committee are the selected parents). Early in November we were told we were selected to go to committee for two little boys. The same anticipation and fears that comes in the last month of pregnancy grips you.
Committee day came. Much like a due date comes. "Today could be the day I become a mother," I think to myself, "or it could just be another day." We didn't have much hope for being chosen, most families are not chosen with the first committee meeting (much like most first time mother do not deliver on their due date). We just planned that it was another painful step in the process. I went to work as usual, Nick went to work as usual. Our case worker, Elizabeth, called us to pray for God to lead the meeting. Nick and I were both home briefly for lunch and that is when committee was supposed to end and we were supposed to get the call. But, much like false labor it wasn't time yet. Nick went back to work and I continued to wait by the phone, nervous, praying, wondering, dreaming... Finally the phone rang and Elizabeth's name came up on the screen, I braced myself and took the call. Her words were "I'm sorry it took so long, but it was worth the wait. You are a mommy now!" I could hardly speak I didn't know if I should laugh or cry or run around like a crazy person. I called Nick to relay the amazing news. I sat there silent for a few moments just taking it all in and thinking "should I be crying right now?" The funny thing is that is the same reaction I had when Nick purposed and when Mia was born. Just plain silent awe.
A week later (yes, only 7 days)the boys were in the back seat of the car and we were driving home. The same feeling of fear and reality hit me pulling out of the driveway of the foster home that I had leaving the hospital with Mia.
After 9 long months of preparation labor finally began. It took 9 months of intense training, interviews, and assessment. We were stripped raw and examined from every angle. Are we fit to be parents? This was asked of us in about a billion different ways. Once it was confirmed we "passed the test" we were then reexamined to determine what type of child we could "handle." We didn't have the physical pains of pregnancy but we had so much emotional pains. Around 20 weeks when you feel the first flutters and kicks of a baby we were feeling pokes and prodding from the state.
At the end of October we began seeking and praying for the child/ren that God would have for us. We submitted our home study to several case workers in hopes we would be chosen for committee (one of the three families that get chosen for committee are the selected parents). Early in November we were told we were selected to go to committee for two little boys. The same anticipation and fears that comes in the last month of pregnancy grips you.
Committee day came. Much like a due date comes. "Today could be the day I become a mother," I think to myself, "or it could just be another day." We didn't have much hope for being chosen, most families are not chosen with the first committee meeting (much like most first time mother do not deliver on their due date). We just planned that it was another painful step in the process. I went to work as usual, Nick went to work as usual. Our case worker, Elizabeth, called us to pray for God to lead the meeting. Nick and I were both home briefly for lunch and that is when committee was supposed to end and we were supposed to get the call. But, much like false labor it wasn't time yet. Nick went back to work and I continued to wait by the phone, nervous, praying, wondering, dreaming... Finally the phone rang and Elizabeth's name came up on the screen, I braced myself and took the call. Her words were "I'm sorry it took so long, but it was worth the wait. You are a mommy now!" I could hardly speak I didn't know if I should laugh or cry or run around like a crazy person. I called Nick to relay the amazing news. I sat there silent for a few moments just taking it all in and thinking "should I be crying right now?" The funny thing is that is the same reaction I had when Nick purposed and when Mia was born. Just plain silent awe.
A week later (yes, only 7 days)the boys were in the back seat of the car and we were driving home. The same feeling of fear and reality hit me pulling out of the driveway of the foster home that I had leaving the hospital with Mia.
December 1, 2011 at 2:45 PM
Thank you so much for writing and sharing. It is so encouraging to remember how normal life is and how normal the emotions are in the ups and downs of anticipation. I appreciate your courage and your honesty. And for the record, my eyes filled with tears at the end of your story... what incredible gifts you have been given....
September 11, 2012 at 5:11 PM
This is a very interesting blog, I will be sure to tell others of this site.