on maternity leave???

so when i planned on adopting i planned on going on maternity leave with work...so i did. I did not however really plan on maternity leave from being a pastors wife. it is amazing how quickly life shifted forever. this really isn't a surprise but i guess i thought it would be different somehow. i knew that i would need time to attach and bond with the boys but i didn't really think about how that sucks every ounce out of me. sure i was warned but it's really hard to see it as something to come. also, with no time to prepare i suddenly found myself behind in helping my hubby complete the call God has for our community. I don't doubt that in time things will balance out but for now i'm on maternity leave and i do love it!

God's Great Provisions!

I must take time this Saturday morning to praise our God for His great love for us! As many of you know Nick and I are going through a somewhat rough financial time right now, but so are billions around the world. So, we are by no means calling for a pity party. I am however sharing this so you might understand how much I have to thank God for!

Nick as you know is a pretty big guy and he likes to eat a lot. I also really love to eat, all day long! We also really love to have people over and share meals with them, we believe this is mandatory for sharing God's love.

The combination of these two thoughts create a very tight food budget. In fact, we only have $100 a month for the two of us and those that join us. This $100 includes paying for medicine, Clorox, and various other household needs.

Here is the exciting part. Monday, while Nick was working, he found around 10 cans of food that a renter had left behind. He is allowed to bring those kinds of things home. God provided around 8 cans of beans and corn for us and 3 giant costco size cans of fruit and applesauce for us to share with our church family the next three weeks:) Then, Thursday I found out we are 90% accepted to be a part of a ministry that for only $50 a month will provide our weekly groceries along with several other services!!!!! This won't start until near the end of November so we've got to keep it tight until then but no worries! THEN today, I was planning to go get the ads to save big time with the coupons and found in the mail $9 in rebates to our local grocery store!!!! So, normally I would only get to spend $25 on groceries this week but now I get to spend $34 which will fully be enough for this week:)

I can hardly contain myself, ahhh we are so blessed. This only is the tip of the iceberg, I cannot even put into words how God has been providing beyond our grocery bill these last few weeks. I now only pray I don't loose sight of His faithfulness those evening when we are exhausted from working with out pay, sitting down to work out a new budget for lack of cash flow, or those evening when a cold settles deeply in the chest. God provides time, money, and health. I need to pray more, read more, and love on others more deeply.

God forgive me for my lack of faith. Forgive me from my selfishness. Give me a humble and grateful heart.

God doesn't answer my prayer for humbleness with a sudden change in heart, He answers it by creating opportunity to be humble. So, as tough as times can be for me and so many I love, the reward of humbleness and a change of heart is worth every bit of it....

God make me humble.

Worst Listener In the Nation!

I think many of you will not find this surprising but I am terrible at multitasking! I feel as if I am a fairly good listener when the conversation is meant to be face-to-face or all other distractions are gone. Any other circumstances can be a disaster or very frustrating for the person speaking to me, like my husband. I cannot tell you how many times I've been driving somewhere (home from work, to the grocery store, etc.) to fairly routine locations and started talking on the phone to one of my bffs or my mom or sister and found myself in the strangest locations. I also cannot tell you how many times I've been talking to Nick and a commercial comes on really loud so I stop mid sentence to watch the darn thing. I don't even care about the commercial and most often I can't even remember what I was saying. I am convinced my best friends from college still are amazed I made it as a teacher for 3 years, a job that requires such great multitasking!

I often think about how ironic it is that one man who is so good at doing the very thing I suck at found me...there are so many women out there that God blessed with the mysterious ability to hear, see, and walk times two all at one time! Nick and I laugh about it all the time and I think secretly he likes that he's better at it then I am:)

For all of you who have a spouse that stops mid sentence, gets easily distracted by the TV, can't hear anything else when they are on the phone, or can seem as if they are on some other planet...please love them like Nick loves me:) Laugh about it and try not to get frustrated we most certainly don't do it on purpose!

Back to where I started...

I was just noticing that I haven't written a blog in nearly 2 months and nearly 5 months since I've posted anything related to the church! So, I originally set out to tell you about my wifely duties as the pastors wife and veered off the path...sorry! Here's where I'm at.

First of all I don't exactly meet the mold of the old school pastor's wife. I don't have big hair...actually it's pretty flat, I can't play the piano or even sing for that fact and I am not very good at hosting parties I just like to have people over (everyone has learned by now how to find things in our kitchen). I will say I am working on some of the internal things one would expect from a pastor's wife. God is daily teaching me how to be more patient, how to be a better listener, ways to be more hospitable, and possessing true flexibility.

I think that the skill that is most required of pastors and their families is resilancy. The ability to bounce back time and time again. I think my parents helped me to learn this skill after many attempts at being athletic. No matter how much I sucked at sports for some darn reason I wanted to keep playing them! If I didn't make a cut a tryouts, missed the game winning pop fly, failed at track because I only wanted to do shot put my parents helped me to be resilient and confident in who I was...the game didn't matter, the fact that I kept trying and learning did matter! The last 3 months of life have been oddly familiar to that time of my life. Relationships have failed and rebounded, "ideas" began then stopped and relaunched in new ways, bridges have been built then crumbled and some rebuilt, the list could go on. The most important thing in my life is that God is faithful and unchanging and that makes me resilient. It allows me to mourn what was lost (dreams, goals, friendships, finances...etc.) and find joy in the hope that Jesus brings. God is in the business of making all things new and I get to be a part of that amazing transformation that is happening all around me!


I guess the word of the day then is resiliency. I pray that I would be able to bounce back and this time bounce right into the arms of Jesus. The one who is faithful to the end!