My run today without the boys...
My run today was different. I've been running with the boys in the jogger now for the last few weeks since the sun's been out. Nick was home so I went out alone. It was a really different experience for me but I kinda liked it! When the boys are with me I am able to focus on them, the flying snack cup, the strong left pull on the stroller, the shoes being taken off and thrown down, the crappy sidewalkes without a ramp, so many things to distract my thinking. Today, I ran with those distractions at home. Here is a bit of what it was like:
I ran to the other side of the street to head out on a familiar loop, stopped on the sidewalk and felt akward about how to start. Okay. Go. I thought,just get on with it!. Feet pouding on the pavement I remind myself this is a stress relief time, me time, time that is valuable and to be treasured. Don't waist it complaining the whole time!. This part of the loop is on the "hood" side of our community. I am not even 5 blocks into the run and the black car with hydraulics is giving me cat calls from the window, oh how I'd like him to get out so I could teach him a lesson. I find that this bothers me MUCH more now that I have boys, young babies soon to be men and they don't need to hear them yelling derogative things out the window at me. Yeah, I wish they'd pull over so I could tell them a thing or two.
The first 2 miles of this loop has a gradual incline making them a bit harder than the last few. Feet still pounding on the pavement a bit harder now that my blood is pumping about the cat call. I find myself counting my breathing in cadence to my feet. One, two, three in...one, two, three, out...this is how I know I keep my pace. Some people say you should be able to carry a conversation and that's how you are at the right pace. I think that is so funny...who want to talk when they are running? It's not even worth attempting talking out loud to myself to check my pace.
I am now reaching the peak of my run, rounding the corner, and entering into the "nice" part of the community. I love looking at these houses, so much character, beautiful, charming, and landscaping that is stunning! My right rib reminds me that it exists with a pinched feeling that doesn't seem like it will go away. I wonder, does this happen to me every time and I just don't notice? At this point I'm chasing my shadow and it feel so good to have the sun at my back. This side of the block has a unique smell and feel. The flowers overwhelm the wind with a beautiful scent that is guarenteed to be followed by a gust of car exhaust. The unquiqe smell of Portland, a city that wants to pretend it was never built. It wants nature to win over what man has created. It is a city full of people running from God that I believe will someday meet him in their very love for nature.
I'm rounding the corner now and approaching my third mile. My shadow is now chasing me! That nagging at my rib is still there and my feet can be heard pouding on the pavement. I'm approaching my side of the community again, "the hood" and wonder what will greet me there. Not to my suprise a kind old man stops to greet me as I run past his yard. He sees me with gentle eyes and a warm spirit. This I seem to only find on my side of the block. The other side...too busy, too occupied, too mentally far away.
I'm on the home stech now, about half a mile to go and I'm ready to quit. Keeping motivated without my boys, it's hard. I don't have them there to convince me I should keep going. I have my head saying just walk for a while, you've worked hard enough, relax. Then I hear my heart saying I can do all things through Christ who stenghtens me. My breathing has gotten much harder now, it doesn't match the cadence of my feet anymore and that frustrates me. A battle begins in my mind. I can either keep running or walk and be proud of what I've done.
I see my street now and realize the nagging at my rib has faded, my feet are still pounding the pavement and I am almost there! How dare I stop now, keep going, keep going, focus on something else. My mind instantly goes to Dom and Eli and how so many days can feel like this last block. I decide to do it for them. I decide to show myself that on my own I can run the last segment just like at home I can maintain endurance through the pain.
Whew...
Joy,pure joy! I am walking my street now, I did it! I even did it without the boys. God, thank you for showing me my ability to endure. Walked through the door and the boys came running to me and my husband stopped to admire me and what I accomplished today. Ah yes, what a good run this was! Thanks God for my lessons through it.
I ran to the other side of the street to head out on a familiar loop, stopped on the sidewalk and felt akward about how to start. Okay. Go. I thought,just get on with it!. Feet pouding on the pavement I remind myself this is a stress relief time, me time, time that is valuable and to be treasured. Don't waist it complaining the whole time!. This part of the loop is on the "hood" side of our community. I am not even 5 blocks into the run and the black car with hydraulics is giving me cat calls from the window, oh how I'd like him to get out so I could teach him a lesson. I find that this bothers me MUCH more now that I have boys, young babies soon to be men and they don't need to hear them yelling derogative things out the window at me. Yeah, I wish they'd pull over so I could tell them a thing or two.
The first 2 miles of this loop has a gradual incline making them a bit harder than the last few. Feet still pounding on the pavement a bit harder now that my blood is pumping about the cat call. I find myself counting my breathing in cadence to my feet. One, two, three in...one, two, three, out...this is how I know I keep my pace. Some people say you should be able to carry a conversation and that's how you are at the right pace. I think that is so funny...who want to talk when they are running? It's not even worth attempting talking out loud to myself to check my pace.
I am now reaching the peak of my run, rounding the corner, and entering into the "nice" part of the community. I love looking at these houses, so much character, beautiful, charming, and landscaping that is stunning! My right rib reminds me that it exists with a pinched feeling that doesn't seem like it will go away. I wonder, does this happen to me every time and I just don't notice? At this point I'm chasing my shadow and it feel so good to have the sun at my back. This side of the block has a unique smell and feel. The flowers overwhelm the wind with a beautiful scent that is guarenteed to be followed by a gust of car exhaust. The unquiqe smell of Portland, a city that wants to pretend it was never built. It wants nature to win over what man has created. It is a city full of people running from God that I believe will someday meet him in their very love for nature.
I'm rounding the corner now and approaching my third mile. My shadow is now chasing me! That nagging at my rib is still there and my feet can be heard pouding on the pavement. I'm approaching my side of the community again, "the hood" and wonder what will greet me there. Not to my suprise a kind old man stops to greet me as I run past his yard. He sees me with gentle eyes and a warm spirit. This I seem to only find on my side of the block. The other side...too busy, too occupied, too mentally far away.
I'm on the home stech now, about half a mile to go and I'm ready to quit. Keeping motivated without my boys, it's hard. I don't have them there to convince me I should keep going. I have my head saying just walk for a while, you've worked hard enough, relax. Then I hear my heart saying I can do all things through Christ who stenghtens me. My breathing has gotten much harder now, it doesn't match the cadence of my feet anymore and that frustrates me. A battle begins in my mind. I can either keep running or walk and be proud of what I've done.
I see my street now and realize the nagging at my rib has faded, my feet are still pounding the pavement and I am almost there! How dare I stop now, keep going, keep going, focus on something else. My mind instantly goes to Dom and Eli and how so many days can feel like this last block. I decide to do it for them. I decide to show myself that on my own I can run the last segment just like at home I can maintain endurance through the pain.
Whew...
Joy,pure joy! I am walking my street now, I did it! I even did it without the boys. God, thank you for showing me my ability to endure. Walked through the door and the boys came running to me and my husband stopped to admire me and what I accomplished today. Ah yes, what a good run this was! Thanks God for my lessons through it.
May 16, 2010 at 6:00 AM
Thanks for this post, Mandy. I've been running over the last few months and I appreciated all the little details! :)
May 20, 2010 at 6:20 PM
What a super cool thing to read! You're an awesome writer, Mandy!! I felt like I was there running with you (minus all the heavy breathing and pouring sweat!) Loved this! :)