Tea and Sweatpants...

I started this post a few weeks ago and just finally finished it. In reflecting on our journey 2 years ago I giggled at how much our adoption story is like a birth story.

After 9 long months of preparation labor finally began. It took 9 months of intense training, interviews, and assessment. We were stripped raw and examined from every angle. Are we fit to be parents? This was asked of us in about a billion different ways. Once it was confirmed we "passed the test" we were then reexamined to determine what type of child we could "handle." We didn't have the physical pains of pregnancy but we had so much emotional pains. Around 20 weeks when you feel the first flutters and kicks of a baby we were feeling pokes and prodding from the state.

At the end of October we began seeking and praying for the child/ren that God would have for us. We submitted our home study to several case workers in hopes we would be chosen for committee (one of the three families that get chosen for committee are the selected parents). Early in November we were told we were selected to go to committee for two little boys. The same anticipation and fears that comes in the last month of pregnancy grips you.

Committee day came. Much like a due date comes. "Today could be the day I become a mother," I think to myself, "or it could just be another day." We didn't have much hope for being chosen, most families are not chosen with the first committee meeting (much like most first time mother do not deliver on their due date). We just planned that it was another painful step in the process. I went to work as usual, Nick went to work as usual. Our case worker, Elizabeth, called us to pray for God to lead the meeting. Nick and I were both home briefly for lunch and that is when committee was supposed to end and we were supposed to get the call. But, much like false labor it wasn't time yet. Nick went back to work and I continued to wait by the phone, nervous, praying, wondering, dreaming... Finally the phone rang and Elizabeth's name came up on the screen, I braced myself and took the call. Her words were "I'm sorry it took so long, but it was worth the wait. You are a mommy now!" I could hardly speak I didn't know if I should laugh or cry or run around like a crazy person. I called Nick to relay the amazing news. I sat there silent for a few moments just taking it all in and thinking "should I be crying right now?" The funny thing is that is the same reaction I had when Nick purposed and when Mia was born. Just plain silent awe.

A week later (yes, only 7 days)the boys were in the back seat of the car and we were driving home. The same feeling of fear and reality hit me pulling out of the driveway of the foster home that I had leaving the hospital with Mia.

So many wonderful things are happening right now. Also, a many number of challenging things are happening too!

Marriage- Today is our 5 year anniversary! I feel like we have experience so much of life together in such a short amount of time. I can't believe we are about to be parents of three children biologically and through adopton. I can't believe we've built missionary lives for ourselves here in Portland. I can't believe some of the struggles we've faced and overcome. God is amazing to me and there is so much joy and love in this marriage. I can't imagine loving this man any more than I already do, yet I know how much deeper my love grows with every year that passes.

Parenting- As the boys develop through various phases I find so much difficulty and so much love in each of those phases. There are things they say and do that make my blood boil like I never knew it could and there are things they say and do that make my heart cling to them like I never knew it could. Our baby girl, Mia, is developing in such a healthy way and she's getting so strong. I really enjoy pregnancy (at least up to this point) and feel so blessed to have experienced it. I have some friend and family that the Lord has brought us to that have proven to be amazing mentors and challenge me to love my children deeper each day.

Ministry- A few reminders I've been hit with the last month; God provides for EVERY need, God knows our weaknesses and give us grace through our maturing process, God knows my children better than I do. Our Manna Truck families are getting provided for even when I was sure they wouldn't. Nick's BMoore project kicks off in about a week despite challenges of time and resources. We have time to love each other as a family even when I thought time would be completely scarce through these summer months.

There are so many more things to say about each of these, hopefully I'll post on it later!

Resting time continues to boggle my mind. So I've written about Eli's adventures with climbing and I think I've mentioned Dom's curiosity with the unloading things in our room (like diapers or T.P.). I don't think I've mentioned Eli's outfits though:)

Almost every day Eli decides it's his job to play a little dress up, usually with Dom's clothes. The fun thing about this is that he manages to clothe himself so creatively! Usually it's putting underwear over his diaper, using socks as mittens, layering three shirts or sporting a pair of swim trunks. The best is he also usually falls asleep dressed this way.

Yesterday I nearly fell over laughing when he came to the door adorned in his afternoon attire. The first thing he said though was "I stuck mommy." Hum...never a good thing to hear from your toddler. Sure enough, he was stuck alright! He decided to try on Dom's underwear which included a few pairs of boxers and few pairs of briefs. The funny thing is that he had put them on over his head through the waste band and a leg hole and had them all piled up like a scarf around his neck and he had managed to stack them so high he literally was stuck.

Oh my little Eli, what will you be wearing tomorrow?

P.S. Tomorrow is Eli's Birthday!!!

We are almost at 12 weeks now, this is very exciting! I've had a fairly sick free pregnancy with the exception of nausea spurred on by certain smells in the kitchen. Nick has been amazing though and for the most part has been doing the cooking and cleaning so I don't have to deal with that.

Other early symptoms that I've been experiencing are weird dreams and body image issues. I feel as if I'm in the "fat" stage of pregnancy. I have a slight bulge and feel bloated all over. I've been struggling with this feeling and being concerned that I've gained too much weight already. I have an amazing friend who just wrote a blog about this that completely blessed my heart here. Thank you Lauren for sharing your journey so the Lord can teach me about mine.

Dreams. I've always had weird/graphic dreams. Nearly every morning I can report at least one of my dreams from the night before. Due to the surge of hormones as of late my dreams have been VERY odd.

For a good laugh here is a preview of my dream journey last night:
Dream 1: I am a 17 year old girl named Beth and I have an 11 year old brother and I live in a small house with my parents (who look/act nothing like any of my actual family or anyone I know). My dad is a police officer who was trying to chase down this 11 year old red head crazy kid killer. My brother and I were trying to help him because he was after me next. In the middle of the night he snuck in, attacked my brother, left him with a cracked rib, and came to get me. I tackled him down and called out SEVERAL times for my dad to come and after a long 5 min he came and got the kid.

Dream 2: I'm walking in a bikini with my pregnant self and a friend to a resort to say farewell to friends who just got kicked out of their apt. After a dip in the pool I realized I forgot a change of clothes so as we were pushed on to the party I was standing in a mass of people trying to "play it cool" while they were dressed formal for a farewell party and I stood in a bikini with a slightly pregnant belly! I went on to the rest of the party, which was odd in itself, ended up at least partially dressed and the guests of honor never did arrive.

Dream 3: I was with 2 old friends from Elementary school in Manhattan and we were meeting a 3rd friend from my childhood who just opened her club. When we saw her she was now a man! She led us into the club which was REALLY cool by the way, and we sat and had margaritas (mine a virgin of course) and chatted about love and life and such.

Yep, those were all from last night! I left out tons of detail because the blog would have been pages long:)

I took the boys to The Art Park at the community center:

Little feet
Wet paint
Sticky stamps
Tiny fingers
Slimy glue
Salty dough

Squeaky voices
Pounding stamps
Splattering paint
Crinkling paper
Affirming mothers
Giggling children

Dinner was creative tonight:

We get our food from Birch and are blessed to have a full kitchen. All be it random, it's full! In my search for things to make spaghetti I found everything but what I needed for any kind of sauce. The dinner I pulled together seemed really weird to me, Nick didn't seem to mind (or so he faked) and the boys had 3 bowls.

Boiled pasta and frozen corn
Made peppered white gravy according to the package
Added what I had left of jack cheese (about a cup)
Put the gravy/sauce over the pasta and corn
Sprinkled dried parsley and bread crumbs on the top.

Haha, and that was it! Not so bad for my family but wouldn't be serving it to a guest unless they were under the age of 6!